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The latest news on Gender, Culture, and Politics. With teeth.

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    Speaking of pictures ripped out of Teen People that you glued on your 5th grade Trapper Keeper (weren't we? we totally were), Britney Spurrz has gotten the jump on her boss Simon Cowell. She's quitting The X-Factor before Cowell and the other assorted Powers that Be can fire her, tired of paying her $15 million to say "amazing" with dead eyes to every contestant as they watch their ratings slowly deflate like an erection in Grandma's house. She apparently wants to focus on cutting another album. "Britney loves Simon, she likes Demi Lovato but her thing is music," says a source. More »

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    Almost exactly a year after getting engaged to have their likenesses marizpanned and planted into the top of a wedding cake, Britney Spears and Jason Trawick have decided not to do that anymore. Though the split is reportedly amicable, there is still the sticky matter of Trawick being Spears's co-conservator, a post that he will most likely be removed from by the end of the day. It's also interesting to note that Spears has switched agencies (to CAA), which tells TMZ that her romantical/business partnership with Trawick is no longer a necessary legal entanglement. [TMZ] More »

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    YEAH, I SAID IT. More »

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    One of the criticisms of Jodie Foster's already legendary Golden Globes speech was the idea of expounding a need for personal privacy on, you know, a nationally broadcast awards show. Its detractors could have predicted this next turn of events, which, of course, is a resurgence in tabloid stories about Foster, particularly the paternity of her sons Charles, 14, and Kit, 12. More »

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    For Lady Gaga's next trick, she will buy Neverland Ranch and cover it with black vinyl and spikes. Gaga, who has previously purchased 55 pieces of costly Jacko memorabilia, befriended LaToya Jackson and wants to help a "desperate" Paris, Prince and Blanket keep their 3,000-acre childhood home, which was sold to an investment group in 2008. The kids and Katherine Jackson still have shares. More »

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    Shockingly, nobody is looking for any more crack party planning advice from Pippa Middleton since her book Celebrate made a fart noise that echoed throughout the publishing industry (although tips like "Make ice!!!" are extremely helpful), her following two book offers—one on wedding planning and another on children's' parties—have been rescinded. She is now unemployed, embarrassed and "fed up" with being controlled by the Royal Family. Ughhhhh, Kate, Kate, Kate! More »

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    Just when I think I can't hate-love Original Kings of Comedy Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag any more, they go and do something un-fuck-withable such as believing in crystals or giving all their stuff away because of the Mayan Calendar. ARE YOU GUYS LOVABLE BUFFOONS OR GODDAMN COMEDY MEGAMINDS!? Not only can I not tell, I can't even tell which one I want to be true. Siiiiigh. More »

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    The ratings trouble plaguing Oprah's teetering television dominion, OWN, has been well-documented, but now the network is facing a good old-fashioned sex discrimination suit. Actually, not so good, at least not if the lawsuit filed Friday by Carolyn Hommel, the former senior director of scheduling and acquisitions at OWN, bears any credence. Hommel says she was cheerily scaling the corporate ladder to a VP position when all of a sudden she got pregnant, and smacked her head right against the glass ceiling: More »

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    So last night Beyoncé literally blew the lights out at the Super Bowl with a powerhouse performance featuring Destiny's Child (dammit, why "Bootylicious"? If they had done "Survivor" or "Bills Bills Bills," I would have jumped on the coffee table and dumped the nacho dip over my head like a 'roid-riddled athlete bathes in Gatorade). Plus she was giving us really intense "fuck you for putting me through all that lip-synching bullshit" death-eyes. Oh, and there were two creepy face-silhouettes made of fire, and a dazzling array of digital Beyoncés, and Michelle Obama called it "phenomenal," AND here is some intel on her black leather butt doily if that's the kind of thing that grinds your gears. More »

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    The universe works in mysterious ways, but occasionally a gear will click into place and simplify at least one aspect of your troubled adult existence. Examples: cheese going on fries, and the fact that Blair Waldorf and Seth Cohen are dating. See? Motherfucking TOLD YOU. It's like the plot of The Time Traveler's Wife set in the WB/CW universe. The real tragedy is that we don't get a Gossip Girl/O.C. crossover out of it where Serena totes falls for Ryan and his emotionally wounded anecdotes of the hard streets of Chino. More »

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    In this edition of Tweet Beat, Britney Spears gets a new dog, but we want to know what's going on with the old one, Anna Kendrick knows what makes a good movie (hint: we're still talking about dogs) and Justin Bieber doesn't fear the storm. More »

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    Four years to the day after Chris Brown beat the crap out of Rihanna on the way home from Clive Davis' pre-Grammys party in 2009, here they are snuggling at last night's ceremonies. While it's been public knowledge for a while that the two are back together—she even accompanied him to court on Wednesday and blew him a kiss—it was the snuggle that tore Twitter asunder, reports Yahoo Music: More »

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    So James Franco deep-throats a pistol in J.K. Rowling's newest novel, James Franco and The Cavernous Sexual Ambiguity the upcoming Harmony Korine film Spring Breakers. Details interviews Franco this month, and its reporter recalls another instance of a Franco onscreen blowjob in his NYU student film The Broken Tower. More »

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    Long-suffering country music singer Mindy McCready was found dead via a gunshot wound to the head yesterday afternoon on her porch—the same location that David Wilson, McCready's self-declared "soulmate," took his own life almost exactly a month ago—in Cleburn County, Arkansas. She was 37. McCready's problems arguably began after an exploitative sexual relationship with Roger Clemens at age 15, and she was a success by 20: Her debut album, Ten Thousand Angels, sold two million copies. She attempted suicide once in 2005 and again in 2008, appearing on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew in 2010 to deal with her drug and alcohol issues. In 2011, she kidnapped her 5-year-old son Zander from his father. More »

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    A poised and hella grown-uppish Prince Michael Jackson has landed a job as a special correspondent for Entertainment Tonight, a pretty impressive gig for a 16-year-old although though my impulse is to yell at him to stay the fuck away from show business and go work at the Dairy Queen like a normal teenager because I just want him to be happy. Alas, this is not to be. He told ET, "I'm looking to become well-rounded as a producer, director, screenwriter and actor." More »

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    Welcome back to Midweek Madness! Every Wednesday, we snack on gossip sandwiches served by In Touch, Us, Ok!, Life & Style, and Star. This week, Tanisha Love Ramirez assists as we the mags report: Kris Jenner is a straight up pimp; other swimsuit models loathe Kate Upton; and Britney Spears is being wooed by a execs at a major hotel on the Las Vegas strip — although they'd better be cool with lip-synching. More »

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    Superfoxes Josh Brolin and Diane Lane are divorcing after eight years of marriage, according to their reps: "It was a mutual decision. It was amicable. It's not ugly, it's just over." (Guh.) It's the second marriage for both of them. Although this means our fantasy of James Brolin, Barbra Streisand, Josh and Diane playing mah jong on a porch somewhere after getting family-style Chinese dinner is kaput, it might be good news: a few months after their 2004 marriage, Brolin was arrested for spousal battery. The charges were dropped, and it was later referred to as a "misunderstanding." More »

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    While you were staggering home in a prosecco haze, celebrities were still out partying, and here's some post-Oscar nuggets for you to munch on. Okay, so yeah, Jennifer Lawrence fell down on her way to collect her Best Actress Oscar. We can perhaps attribute this to her previous confession that she was planning to get shithoused during the ceremony, and also because Lawrence and most of these women are wearing fucking TORTURE CHAMBER dresses and heels that are stilts, and those two things don't jive well. (It was either that or the Lena Dunham Golden Globes waddle.) Anyway, she accidentally/on purpose gave someone the finger in the press room after her win and then looked shocked. Amazing. [Just Jared] More »

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    It's not notable in, like, a world history kind of a way, but you have to admit that BRITNEY'S NEW HAIR LOOKS REALLY GOOD, YOU GUYS. And she seems to have a vigor and a pulled-togetherness about her that we haven't seen from Brit-Brit in years. More »

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    "As she sits drinking lavender lemonade,*" Taylor Swift tells Vanity Fair that everyone—including, and especially, other ladies in Hollywood—needs to shut the fuck up about how many penises are/may be in orbit around her: More »

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