Please Stop Impersonating Billie Eilish, You're Making Her Sad
There can only be so many Billie Eilishes in the world, per some arcane standard imposed upon us by a cruel, yet careful, universe. More than one and the very fabric of our existence is threatened,...
View ArticleWhy Did Cher Save This Britney Spears Photoshoot on Her Phone?
In 2001, disgraced photographer Patrick Demarchelier photographed Britney Spears in a variety of looks, most notably a purple top and matching lace pants. In 2020, Cher saved that photoshoot to her...
View ArticleOnce Again, Let's Circle Around Justin Timberlake and Point at Him Some More
Justin Timberlake is very sorry for what he put wife Jessica Biel through after rudely rubbing up on co-star Alisha Wainwright during a drunken night out last year, in no small part because we’ve spent...
View ArticleHarry Styles Stopped at a Delaware Wawa for a Hoagie
Shortly after I moved to Philadelphia, I decided to start keeping a running list of everything I liked about the city. I was having a difficult time adjusting to its slower pace and the preponderance...
View ArticleMegan Thee Stallion Suing Record Label for Being 'Greedy and Shady'
After divulging details about her wack recording contract in an Instagram Story, Megan Thee Stallion has filed a lawsuit against 1501 Certified Entertainment, alleging—among other things—targeted smear...
View ArticleLet's Check in on Britney Spears
On Monday, Britney Spears began posting a series of photos against a red wall. Many were the same photo, with different levels of contrast and filters applied to them, but nevertheless, the end result...
View ArticleSorry, Everyone! Brad Pitt Is Still Not Dating Alia Shawkat
I’m not saying that everything would suddenly get better were Brad Pitt to date Alia Shawkat. But, I do believe that the cosmic forces behind both actors’ uncanny talents would somehow right something...
View ArticleKate Elizabeth Russell on My Dark Vanessa and the 'Early Aughts Lolita Complex'
In 1999, Britney Spears appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone in a black bra and polka-dot panties, clutching a stuffed Teletubby in one hand and a pink princess phone in the other. Beside her, a...
View ArticlePlease Shake Your Ass While Stress Cleaning Your Apartment This Weekend
It is mandatory, when cleaning, that one must shake their ass. You can cry while doing this, or smile, or feel any sort of emotion you please. But if you are cleaning, you have to dance. It’s the...
View ArticleElsewhere, Britney Spears is Doing Beach Yoga
Every so often, it’s nice to jump down the rabbit hole and into the alternate dimension that is Britney Spears’s Instagram. Somewhere, right now, she is asking boyfriend slash photographer Sam Asghari...
View ArticleKristen Bell and Dax Shepard Outed As Landlords
All sorts of celebrities have interesting hobbies and revenue streams that keep them occupied off-screen and away from prying eyes. Some are completely harmless, with no environmental impact...
View ArticleWe Still Can't Do the 'Oops... I Did It Again' Choreography, 20 Years Later
Twenty years ago, Britney Spears released her single “Oops... I Did It Again,” a song that would then be played at every slumber party, school dance, workout class, and nightclub until the end of time....
View ArticleBritney Spears Didn't Really Beat Usain Bolt's World Record
In a now-deleted Instagram post from Thursday, pop princess and fitness icon Britney Spears posted a screenshot of a stopwatch app along with a caption that appeared to claim that she had run 100...
View ArticleWhere Were You When You First Found Out Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson Broke Up?
Were you the sort of person who’d cut Rachel Bilson photos out of copies of Teen Vogue and paste her on your collage moldboards, or the sort who’d plaster your walls with pictures of Adam Brody? I’m...
View ArticleWhen Will Britney Spears Return to TikTok?
Very few celebrities are actually good at TikTok, mostly because their attempts to pander to increasingly younger fanbases read as thirsty and transparently out-of-touch. Britney Spears, in contrast,...
View ArticleCardi B 'Can't Even Fuck,' Is Stuck Watching Documentaries Instead
Cardi B wants more sex, but she’s on her period, so she isn’t really feeling it. A common and extremely relatable problem!Read more...
View ArticleLet Britney Spears Teach You How to Do the Splits
There’s a genre of YouTube workout video dedicated solely to the inflexible amongst us looking to be less so. Countless bendy women and men walk through their stretching routines, assuring an anxious...
View ArticleWe Took the Britney Spears Handwriting Challenge, Which We Just Invented
Early afternoon and with extreme Friday energy, the Jezebel staff began discussing the fact that most of us have never seen each others’ handwriting, in part because handwriting is an increasingly rare...
View ArticleCardi B and Bernie Sanders Had a Casual Tuesday Night Chat About Quarantine...
Bernie Sanders and Cardi B hopped on Instagram Live Tuesday night for a chat. Cardi, addressing the Senator as “Uncle Bernie,” opened the stream by screaming, then telling him his nails were looking...
View ArticlePadma Lakshmi Won't Take Shit About Going Braless In Her Kitchen
In a totally unexpected twist, I’ve found myself becoming one of the legions of people turning to cooking while trapped in quarantine. In addition to saving money, I’ve also found it empowering to turn...
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