Justin Bieber's Totally Not Retiring, Say Justin Bieber's Party People

Sure, Justin Bieber said he's retiring, but how much can we really trust Justin Bieber? He drives around in a customized Batmobile and abandons pet monkeys in German airports. I'll bet he told that monkey, "Hang out here, bro. I'll be right back. Here's a hundo for the duty-free." That monkey is probably still smoking the carton of cigarettes he bought the day Justin Bieber abandoned him.

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