Ok, I have to admit something: I love this song and I have no idea what it's about. I've listened at least thirty times (today, sorry) and I still can't tell whether Britney is singing this from the point of view of two women into the same dude or whether she is trying to decide which is better: Fantasy or Curious. (Fantasy.)
Your Evening Jam: Britney and Sia Strip Down Perfume
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Britney Spears and Lady Gaga Worry Us With Duet Rumor
Today in things that make us nervous, Britney Spears and Lady Gaga are supposedly planning a duet. Do we really need this?
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DMX May Not Lay The Smackdown on George Zimmerman After All
There was absolutely nothing good about the announcement that certified awful person George Zimmerman (no celebrity bold for you!) would appear on an episode of Celebrity Boxing to square off against rapper DMX (on what would have been Trayvon Martin's 19th birthday, no less). This news was actually so not good that for a second I was certain it was an Onion headline. (It wasn't.) From the fight itself, to the date, to DMX's promise to beat the shit out of and then urinate all over Zimmerman's face, it was bad news all around. Now, it appears that the fight will likely not be happening.
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Noted Word Thief Shia LaBeouf Storms Out of Berlin Press Conference
Shia LaBeouf, that dust devil of celebrity angst, swirled out of a press conference in Berlin for Lars von Trier's new sex movie Nymphomaniac after a reporter asked him a seemingly obvious question about doing a movie with so many sex scenes. LaBeouf, apparently nonplussed by the sex query, gave a characteristically bizarre answer: "When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much." Then, he left the press conference.
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Kanye West's Wedding Planning Is Out of Control
Kanye West is allegedly going out of control planning his big day. The singer/actor/designer/messiah was expected to have a quiet family wedding (lol, no), but recent reports from various insiders suggest that West's ideas are running to much more extravagant places.
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Mindy Kaling on Diversity Complaints: 'I'm a Fucking Indian Woman'
At an otherwise friendly panel at SXSW today, one audience member asked Mindy Kaling about the perceived lack of diversity on The Mindy Project—why was she the only female doctor and the only doctor of color? Kaling reportedly lost patience and called the criticisms "insulting."
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Chris Brown Thrown Out Of Rehab, Back in Jail
Only a few weeks ago it seemed that Chris Brown was doing so well. He had been undergoing residential treatment for anger issues (as well as recently diagnosed Bipolar and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and was said to be cooperating and progressing. But yesterday, Brown was discharged from the treatment facility in Malibu for "failure to comply with rules and regulations of the program." No other details have been released as to why Brown was asked to leave treatment, but more information will likely be available on Monday when Brown goes to court. He is currently being held in a Los Angeles jail without bail.
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No One Wants Gum Anymore, Probably Because It's Gross
The popularity of chewing gum has plummeted in the last four years, with sales dropping 11 percent. Can there be any explanation other than the decades-long campaign by right-thinking moms, etiquette experts, theater attendants and sound-sensitives who just cannot deal with your smacking right now?
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Watch Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Joe Biden Cavort around DC
Last night was the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner, DC's biggest annual fire hazard (from politicians, journalists, and celebrities rubbing elbows so damn hard). Host Joel McHale said some things (including a quip about paying potential first female president Hillary Clinton 30% less! lolol get it?!), President Obama said some things, and all I'm sure it was fabulous affair, which has been dubbed #nerdprom.
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Vegas Britney Spears Might Be the Healthiest Britney Spears
Does Britney Spears' Vegas residency make her a “feminist role model for single working mothers everywhere"?
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Surprise: Britney Spears Has Been Lip Syncing Her Las Vegas Show
In what comes as a shock to absolutely nobody, Britney Spears' manager confirmed that she indeed is not singing live at her Las Vegas Piece of Me show despite the pop industry's steadfast commitment to live and unaltered performances*. The greatest mystery of 1999 has finally come to a close.
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Keira Knightley Says Sometimes She Gets Mistaken for Britney Spears(!?)
Keira Knightley told Graham Norton that she often gets mistaken for other female celebrities, "but the one that's quite surprising is Britney Spears." WHO CAN'T TELL KEIRA KNIGHTLEY AND BRITNEY SPEARS APART? WHAT WORLD IS THIS.
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Listen to Britney Spears Without Autotune
A non-autotoned version of Britney Spears' "Alien," from her latest album Britney Jean, has been leaked. Not surprisingly, her voice falls flat in many places, either because Britney Spears is not known for her vocal prowess, or because this version wasn't meant to be a "take" for engineers to refine anyway.
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Billy Eichner Finds One More Reason to Praise The Golden Girls
In today's Tweet Beat, Britney Spears gives a good girl a spanking, Miles Teller suggests a new app and Billy Eichner is marathoning The Golden Girls.
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Britney Spears and David Lynch Are Both Making Bras Now
Elusive chanteuse Britney Spears and famed weirdo director/ transcendental meditation enthusiast/ amazing Louie guest star David Lynch are launching their own respective lines of women's wear. Both contain bras.
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Beyoncé Will Perform Live and in Person at the VMAs
Beyoncé will grace the MTV Video Music Awards with her actual presence and they’re giving her a prestigious award, so she won’t be phoning it in from France or wherever. Remember the last time she performed on the VMAs? It was 2011, when she announced her pregnancy with Blue Ivy and broke Twitter. Hard to top that, but we'll see.
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Nick Cannon Insists He Left Mariah, Concerned For Her "Emotional State"
After Mariah Carey's lawyer worked out a confidentiality agreement with Nick Cannon's lawyers, barring him from saying anything about their impending divorce, Cannon has contended that he was the one who ended their marriage. Via TMZ:
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Britney Spears Approves of Katy Perry's Denim Gown
In today's Tweet Beat, Britney Spears loved Katy Perry's tribute to her infamous denim evening wear look, Jenny Slate has an editorial suggestion for Shape and Idris Elba is still sexy.
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Britney Spears Had the Shittiest Day, Y'all
I cannot tell a lie: I am a huge Britney Spears fan. I may not be into some of the deeper cuts, but I watched all of Chaotic, rooted for her recovery and I didn't completely disagree when Chris Crocker told everyone to leave her alone. It's pretty sad, then, that Britney's dad had to buy a video of her boyfriend cheating on her and then showed it to her.
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Jimmy Fallon Signed Britney Spears Up For Tinder
Britney Spears recently became single again (BOO WHY IS LOVE DEAD) and considering what a national goddamn treasure she is, it'a about time we all stepped up and gave her a helping hand finding her next emotional train wreck.
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