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The latest news on Gender, Culture, and Politics. With teeth.

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    Britney Got a Digital Slimdown to Look Skinny in 'Work Bitch' Video

    Britney Spears looks lean of thigh and flat of abs in the video for "Work Bitch," but rumor has it she got the digital slimdown. Better living through technology. Airbrushing ahoy!

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  • 10/15/13--12:40: Madonna's Kiss of Death
  • Madonna's Kiss of Death

    Thanks to American Horror Story: Coven, it was finally possible to nail down Madonna's secret for maintaining her youthful beauty.

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    Here’s Why TLC Passed on Recording ‘...Baby One More Time’

    In an alternate universe, Superman landed on the outskirts of Mexico City and went on to become a super-powered club promoter called Los Ojos Calientes, Golden Girls was called Golden Guys, Steve Urkel was a Swedish exchange student no one in the Winslow family could understand, TLC recorded “...Baby One More Time,” and Britney Spears lived in harmonious anonymity.

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    Lena Dunham's 'Overweight' Body Wanted for the Cover of Vogue

    Anna Wintour wants Lena Dunham for the cover of Vogue, according to a "well-placed magazine source" (a business crop top? An oversized pink coat for the autumn season?).

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    No, Britney Spears cracking a whip and motivating terrified strangers to "Work, Bitch" is not a particularly wild dream you once had — it's a real thing that happened late last week when Spears was a guest on Alan Carr's Chatty Man in the UK.

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    It's only Monday, but it's already been a big week in Britney Spears news. Not only does it turn out that her music might repel pirates (!!!), but now she — with the help of Nick Grimshaw and BBC Radio 1 — has released this very unique Halloween video in which she recites the "Thriller" opening monologue, while doing various spooky/scary things in front of green screen.

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    If you're a fan of Britney Spears' slower ballads like "Everytime" and "Lucky," her new song "Perfume" will be a sweet relief from her hard-thumping radio hits. If it's hard for you to stomach the autotune even in her dance songs, "Perfume" will [insert joke about bad smells].

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    In making the lyric video for her new song "Perfume," Britney Spears has really taken the general cheeseball nature of lyric videos and product placement that's now mandatory in music videos and run several sweaty miles with them firmly clasped to her heaving bosom until she collapsed in an exhausted mess with only a bottle of one of her many fragrances there to revive her.

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    The Boys of Boston flag football team (YES) bring everything and more to this video for Britney's Work Bitch and it is magic. Youwantamaserati?

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    Miley Cyrus Knows Britney and Justin Were the Best Dressed Couple Ever

    In today's Tweet Beat, Miley Cyrus speaks the truth about the best couple's outfit that ever was, Crystal Hefner is friends with Spencer and Heidi and Chet Haze thinks it's funny that anyone would be paying attention to him.

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    Complete Shithead Leaks Emotional Private Texts from Britney Spears

    Aw man, not this human egg-fart again. Noted social butterfly and vulnerable-starlet-betrayer Sam Lutfi is back in the "news" again, having released a number of private texts that he claims are from a hysterical, emotionally dysfunctional Britney Spears. I don't know if they're actually from Britney or not, and I really really don't care—the entire point of having friends is that you can be less than your best self in front of them and they still know who you are as a human being. Friendship is safety. Sam Lutfi is a fucking ringwraith of friendship. SAM LUTFI WILL STAB YOUR EMOTIONS WITH A MORGUL BLADE.

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    Britney Wants a Baby Girl So She Won't 'Feel as Alone in the World'

    Britney Spears is on the January 2014 cover of InStyle in what's being touted as her "MOST CANDID INTERVIEW EVER!" In it, she talks about wanting a daughter to help her cope with her feelings of loneliness:

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    Britney Spears has released the video for her song "Perfume" and it is not good. We knew it wouldn't be good. The song is not good. The lyric video was not good. And yet, there is something, dare I say, interesting*, about how not good this video is.

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    This is one of those things where you watch it and wince and go, "Oof." Britney was being interviewed for Despierta America on Univision when she said, "I've always loved Latinos. They make me think of a bad boy type that your father wouldn't let you go out with."

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    Kanye West Vows to Be Quiet for at Least Six Months

    Hahahahahahaahahaahahahaahahaahaaha. I don't want him to be quiet, but I love that headline. After being raked over the coals over and over in 2013 (for saying TOTALLY LEGIT SHIT, BY THE WAY), Kanye West has vowed to pour his 2014 energy into creativity instead of talking.

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    Britney Spears Began Her Career in Las Vegas Purgatory Last Night

    This is who Britney Spears is now: a Las Vegas performer who's ripped off some Cirque de Soleil productions so she can tread water in our collective pop culture consciousness with a show called "Piece of Me." Are you sad? Do you feel old? Or did you somehow always know things would go down like this for Britney, even before she announced her Vegas semi-retirement back in September?

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    Justin Bieber's Totally Not Retiring, Say Justin Bieber's Party People

    Sure, Justin Bieber said he's retiring, but how much can we really trust Justin Bieber? He drives around in a customized Batmobile and abandons pet monkeys in German airports. I'll bet he told that monkey, "Hang out here, bro. I'll be right back. Here's a hundo for the duty-free." That monkey is probably still smoking the carton of cigarettes he bought the day Justin Bieber abandoned him.

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    Britney Spears' Delusional 'Documentary' Is a Hot, Glittered Mess

    In case you live under a rock made out of socially valuable things like your family, real news and various important social causes you are devoted to, you know that Britney Spears debuted in Las Vegas this weekend.

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    Ke$ha's Mom: My Daughter Is Bulimic and Her Producer Was a Bully

    As if going to rehab for bulimia isn't enough, Ke$ha's mom Pebe Sebert told People that super producer Dr. Luke pushed her there.

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    Pantsless Miley Cyrus Booted From French TV Before 10 P.M.

    It turns out Miley Cyrus is too scandalous even for France, a country whose greatest natural resource is eroticism. The video for "Wrecking Ball" is no longer allowed on television before 10 p.m., when more adult-oriented programming starts.

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